My new love story started

Today is March 3th, 2010, Wednesday..
Im waking up at 6 plus plus oclock in the morning and it was late already to take my "secret" shower..
Im fast-moving to the bathroom and made those flowers with saffron and mixed them into
the bath-tub..
It was smells good,clean and slowly im step inside the tub..
Grrrr...sejuknya! That was first what my foot felt when im stepping inside.
Im lying down and stay..I feel fresh and peaceful..
And suddenly..
someone knocking my bathroom's door..
Im asking.. "Mama?"
No answer... And again im asking.. "Mama,is that u infront?"
Still no answer... I kept thinking on my mind, thats just an illusion..
Plus..this few days, my mind seems like being so cold and cant thinking well..
Im lying down back and close my eyes..
I miss him.. and im thinking about him, berangan2 awhile.. HAHAHA..
and suddenly again.. my bathroom's door been knocked!
"Who is there!!" Im yelling a bit..plus,takut takut berani gak ar.. =.=
Still there's no answer..
Im not bringing my cellphone together,
and my ma was downstairs..
Can i open the door? Or maybe just wait and reading some Doa?
But im inside the bathroom..
Ahh! I dont care.. Tuhan di mana2, and im starting reading Doa that ustad told me..
After 10mins, there were no more sounds outside..
Slowly im opened my bathroom's door and nothing outside..
Im taking my shirt and short pants, and went downstairs with only using my towel..
I told mama about that, and she said i need to be strong...
Someone is hating me and he want to see me down...
Yes...
Today,
Ustad and his friends will come again and "rawat" me...
Thanks to him...for being such calm and concern lover while im having those problems..
Always stay by my side, and he was crying when im starting to forget him...
I will fight for him.. No one is better than this guy.. Every single days,
he will keep smsing me..calling me..to know hows my condition...
I love u beby..Thanks for being my best buddy,brother and lover...
I love u so damn damn much sayang....
<333

The last couple of days,i've being so stupid,idiot bloody fool!
I took 40pills because im stressed with my pains and be afraid of losing him..
We got noisy because of some misunderstanding that i've created at first.
He cant open his hp since those morning and im thinking that he made
something wrong behind my back.
And actually his phone got probs but when he told me nicely,
i cant accept and started to force him telling me the truth.
He keep sms-ing telling what was happen actually and i dont listen.
Until he said,he dont want to talk with me anymore because being just
like others,and im shocked.
For the 1st time,he said like that..he aint wanna contact me anymore.
And i thought that i will lose my love,my baby... T.T
I cant cry,but i really want to make myself calm.
I saw those pills on its trace and i took it.
This pain who made me sick and more sick!
Its made me unconfidence with myself since i took em..
I ate em,one by one.And the tears running out..and i dont even know how
many of em have i taken.
Until my stomach feels poignant and i cant take it no more.
I've vomit back all those pills and open my bedroom's door..
My ma saw me and she screaming."Nurul!!What are u doing?!!"
I cant say anything because i keep puking.
My ma saw those pills and called my bestfriend mya who was downstairs.
She was eating her maggi mee that time.Haha sorry dude for spoiling ur meals >.<
She ran fast upstairs and catch me up.
They chasing me to the clinic soon..
When i came for emergency,the doc can being 'kerek' pulak...
She said to me: Remaja sekarang mmg ikut hati tak pk panjang.
I looked at her and replied: Kalau tak ada pesakit, doc tak boleh carik makan. Diamlah!
She said back: Sombong ya kamu..
And i said: I've come here as ur medical patient and stop talking too much because i'll pay. If u taknak rawat, then i go to other clinics!
The doc seems angry but she stop saying anything and started to nursing me.
Im ok a couple minutes after that.
And focus on him back..
He called me many times,said sorry and ask me for apologized.
HEY BEBY,it was my fault.not urs..
Im the one who should say sorry here.All the times,u were the one who "mengalah" for me....
Please,iloveyousomuch..
Forgive me.Stop saying u hate me.
Sorry for my weakness,and i'll change to be better day by days..
Iloveu beby,thanks for supporting me and accept me the way i am.
Always....
MWAHHHH!!!!!

Its been a while since we both stop talking about those things.
What things?Adalah..just mama,mya,him and myself yg tahu..
Im about to let him go at my past times,and im so regret about it..how can i let him go?
While he always accept the way i am..
And now he really make my heart trust him more than anything.
Beby,please dont let me down.Hold me as tight as u always do..
Support me as i really need u to be close with me every single days..
I've got sick mostly everyweek!
Im tired to feel unhealthy nmore...
Those pills aint help me out.Sometimes i've taken those sleeping pills when i
cant take the pains inside of me.
Nah,
its not about cancer or somekind like that.
Dont misjudge my infos.It just too private to be share here.Thanks..
But im sick,i hope to live my life with normal way..just like others.
And i know i cant.
I want to bring happiness as many as i can for him..
And hope i can be stronger.More stronger than i thought i can be..
Caiyok!Bunbun :)

Its easy to say,but its never easy to accept..
Dont get what im talking about huh?yeah,no need to know.thats my privacy.
'But why u writing here darling if there's no point for u to open em out?'
Hey this is my blog,so what u care about im gonna open my stories or not?
zZZzzz...
Yeah,whats wrong with me lately?
Im talking to myself like im a psychic pain's peep.
haha =.=
Its just around the corner..
What?
26.2....
Agrhhhh!Beby,i really need u besides me.
Can u come here on that day?
Can u calm me down on that situation?
T.T
Iskiskisk....takutnyala haih!
Thanks for reading,
just took some ways to calm myself down by writing on here.
haha.
Chow fellas :)

It was about 6 oclock in the morning..
And i woke up and got blurred.Haha.
He called me and said he miss me.Act mostly everyday he will do that.
Call me up when i've sms him and wrote that "im just woke up beby".
How sweet when each times we stand up from our bed and hear our love one's voices.Aite?
Heeee.I love him so damn much.
And this morning,just same like the others morning before.
Talk with him onthephone and sms a bit before i go for a shower.
And i just want to write something on my blog,
about my new day just become.
Today,its December 11th 2009..
I want to be more tuff to manage my walk for...SHOWER AND COOKING FOR BREAKFAST!
hahahaha.
See ya :D
^.^

Peeps say Love is Blind.Love is Torture.Love is Pain.
But forgive me if im wrong..
For me,when someone fell in love and got dumped,thats what will come out from our mouth.
"He such a Jerk!"
"Hey u fool bloody Ass!"
"Ahaa?Think that i have fall in love with ur monkey face??"
Hahahaha.
Those words will come out from our mouth when love got change.From nothing to worst.
Am i right?
But for those who fall in love and got been loved very much...they call love as life,soul,and tetttt!
Whats that bunny?Uh,nothing.Haha.
Just got it if ur understood em.
I do being a lover for many times.
Nah,3 nor 4 times only.And all of those love stories were stupidos!
Until i met this one guy.. Ahaaa..i will keep smiling when im thinking about him <3
Ahmad Fadhil.Nama baik punya!Si capang that i loveeeee most <3
He's kinda messed when the first i saw him at MYSPACE.COM.
He made me angry for 2,3 times or maybe more than that at our first chatting.
I've told Mya(my besties) that i hate this guy.
He was bla bla bla (bila marah semua keluar,sorry beby)haha.
But i dont know since when..we still keep in touch until oneday..JENG JENG JENG..
He asked me to be his special one,and GOD,i rasa nak pengsan.hahaha.
I accepted with both hand open wide even he wasnt infront of me :D
And month after months,we are seems suitable to be together.
Mouth to mouth fighting mostly everyday,but we still strong to face em out.
Sometimes we got close,sometimes we got busy,sometimes we got nothing to say.
But still at the end,he stand by my side..
He's different.From worst to good.From good to be better.And now hes my best.
My friend,My Brotha,My Lover and will be My hubby.. (doa2kan).. :)
He is mine,and always be mine.